It is Accomplished.

Today is the baby's parents' first anniversary. Traditionally, the proper gift for this anniversary is something made of paper. The City of Beverly Hills, aka the Defendant, hooked us up a couple of days early by providing a fat settlement check on Friday, along with a signed agreement begging us to stop putting a hurt on them.

This ends a headache that began two years ago (to the day, more or less). Shane reserved Greystone Mansion, a wedding venue owned by Beverly Hills. Four months later, they said oops, we rented it to somebody before you. And now you have to find someplace else to get married. And we won't pay the difference in cost, even though this was our fault. And you can't have your deposit back unless you sign a release.

Well, Shane had a problem, and the odds were against her. Fortunately, she saw my ad:



As the best lawyer she could afford, I took the case. The Beverly Hills people said that it was all an innocent mistake, the other couple had priority, and since Shane had found another place to hold the wedding, there was no real harm done. I responded thus:



The suit began. Accusations flew. Papers were filed. Ties were worn. To make a long story tedious, they were forced to produce documents showing that not only did the other couple lack "priority," but they had actually made their Greystone reservation three months AFTER Shane. Plus, the judge said he really wanted to try the case. Suddenly the City's lawyers suggested that perhaps a settlement was possible. I mentioned that I came from a small town called Get Paid and they were making me homesick. They offered $5K, the difference in price between Greystone and Wattles Mansion, where we ended up getting married. I said that's nice, but I want blood. We ended up meeting in the middle.

So Baby Girl McKendelsohn will be the first recipient of the Beverly Hills Can Bite Me Scholarship. Most of the settlement money will go into savings for her, although we are having steak tonight. And if you ever do business with the City of Beverly Hills, demand proof of everything they tell you. Tell them Justice sent you.

Shane and the Belly: The Way We Were

1980's Belly

1990's Belly

Honeymoon Belly -- only a few months before she started growing!

Here we are today!

And, I couldn't be happier, gi-normous belly and all. :-)

NB: Belly ring still in!! Six weeks and counting! (hopefully)

Tannis' Baby Shower

It was so great to see everyone! I had so much fun.

And, all the details were so cute too! Tannis, once again, you threw an AMAZING shower. I don't know how you do it. Thank you! You're the best!

Shane and Dan at 8 months

Don't we look rested? 6 weeks of sleep left!

Recent Pics of Cousin Cuties

Just figured I'd take the chance to post a couple recent pics of the little ones.
Claudia

Gabrielle

No News is Gil News

I was hoping to have a triumphant story of legal victory by this point, but the final details are taking longer than anticipated. Hopefully my/our/my conquest will be complete in the next week or two and I can sing my praises.

Otherwise, I've got nothing new re: baby, so I have imported more parenting wisdom from injured NBA guru Gilbert Arenas. Regarding the use of his image on the cover of the new PlayStation basketball video game:

"My daughter picked up the cover and was like, “Da-Da,” and I was like, “You’re Goddamn right that's Da-Da! I’m on the cuh-vah.”"

So there's that, and so much more he can teach about fatherhood:

"I did something bad yesterday. It wasn’t bad, but it was either me or her …

I dropped my daughter.

I had my daughter in my arms and I was ready to go put her to bed because she was sleeping. But I was just outside first because I forgot to put my brakes on in my car. So it was wet outside and I only had on my house slippers and they were wet when I came back in the house.

When we got to the stairs I slipped, and you know, my left leg can’t bend. So it was either both of us stumble down the stairs, or drop her.

So I had to drop her.

She’s OK. She dropped on her butt first.

She was maddddd – she didn’t cry though – but she was mad. You know, I play around with her and throw her around so much all day that she don’t cry anymore.

Like – I’ve never seen anything like it – she’ll run and fall and hit her head on something and have all these big knots and she just walks around like it’s nothing.

You know, you never want to drop your kid, but it was like, “Awwwww, sorry honey.”

It was at the top of the stairs and I just stepped on the wood and my right leg slipped up, and if I had continued holding her we both would have just fallen backwards down the stairs.

So I just dropped her on her butt and grabbed the railing.

It was scary last night, but it was funny this morning.

And then there's my son, Alijah.

He’s just laying there. That's all he does.

Sleeping during the day, keeping everybody up during the night.

He doesn’t really do much. He’s much quieter than my daughter was at that age.

I call her a demon child. She’s possessed. Put it like this, she has my personality and my energy at that age, we’ll just say that.

She gets up at three in the morning and wants to talk. I’m like, “Uh uh, no way.”

She’ll be like, “Basketball!”

I’m like, “No, no. You can’t see the basketball at night.”

She’ll be like, “Basketball! Basketball!” She’ll call for it.

I’m like, “No, the basketball doesn’t hear you.”"

Deep. But please note--this is a man who claims that the NBA gave him an award for "Best Looking Kids."

Mom's Baby Shower!

So much fun. Can't wait to dress up my little baby doll. Thanks Mom!! And, thanks to all who made it such a fun afternoon! xoxo

Behold!

I don't have any baby-related news. I do, however, have this. Watch. Learn. Repeat.

Office Construction Complete!

And, it only took four times as long as initially estimated! Luckily, it was worth the wait. Next up: Baby room. Almost done. We'll send pictures of that as soon as the drapery hardware arrives.

BEFORE: