I was hoping to have a triumphant story of legal victory by this point, but the final details are taking longer than anticipated. Hopefully my/our/my conquest will be complete in the next week or two and I can sing my praises.
Otherwise, I've got nothing new re: baby, so I have imported more parenting wisdom from injured NBA guru Gilbert Arenas. Regarding the use of his image on the cover of the new PlayStation basketball video game:
"My daughter picked up the cover and was like, “Da-Da,” and I was like, “You’re Goddamn right that's Da-Da! I’m on the cuh-vah.”"
So there's that, and so much more he can teach about fatherhood:
"I did something bad yesterday. It wasn’t bad, but it was either me or her …
I dropped my daughter.
I had my daughter in my arms and I was ready to go put her to bed because she was sleeping. But I was just outside first because I forgot to put my brakes on in my car. So it was wet outside and I only had on my house slippers and they were wet when I came back in the house.
When we got to the stairs I slipped, and you know, my left leg can’t bend. So it was either both of us stumble down the stairs, or drop her.
So I had to drop her.
She’s OK. She dropped on her butt first.
She was maddddd – she didn’t cry though – but she was mad. You know, I play around with her and throw her around so much all day that she don’t cry anymore.
Like – I’ve never seen anything like it – she’ll run and fall and hit her head on something and have all these big knots and she just walks around like it’s nothing.
You know, you never want to drop your kid, but it was like, “Awwwww, sorry honey.”
It was at the top of the stairs and I just stepped on the wood and my right leg slipped up, and if I had continued holding her we both would have just fallen backwards down the stairs.
So I just dropped her on her butt and grabbed the railing.
It was scary last night, but it was funny this morning.
And then there's my son, Alijah.
He’s just laying there. That's all he does.
Sleeping during the day, keeping everybody up during the night.
He doesn’t really do much. He’s much quieter than my daughter was at that age.
I call her a demon child. She’s possessed. Put it like this, she has my personality and my energy at that age, we’ll just say that.
She gets up at three in the morning and wants to talk. I’m like, “Uh uh, no way.”
She’ll be like, “Basketball!”
I’m like, “No, no. You can’t see the basketball at night.”
She’ll be like, “Basketball! Basketball!” She’ll call for it.
I’m like, “No, the basketball doesn’t hear you.”"
Deep. But please note--this is a man who claims that the NBA gave him an award for "Best Looking Kids."
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